My Sunglasses are Filthy.

So it seems like moments of inspiration to actually blog, always seem to come past 2 am. Let's see if I can keep the trend. I sort of want to start off with clarification of my state of union I guess.. Just from reading my last blog, I can tell I've changed, I liked to say I've grown, at least a little bit. My strides have been pretty big in growing spiritually since living in Tempe and actually residing in the center of my spiritual community. & believe me, I'm absolutely not trying to put myself anywhere near a pedestal, it's just how I sincerely feel. However, I cannot explain in words how thankful I am for all these amazing people, Christian or not, that I am constantly surrounded with, it's intense but in a completely good sense of the word. So thanks guys, couldn't do much of anything with out you.

Lately I've realizing something that's becoming more and more evident everyday, whether I like it or not. It's people, and perspective. I feel that subconsciously humans (or at least the ones I'm in contact with regularly) are guilty of severely minimizing their perspective of, well, life in general, spiritual or not. It seems that we become so completely comfortable with shrinking our perception of reality to a very small peep hole that is our life. We are bombarded with daily routines and redundant social situations so much so that we eventually come to believe these things that consume our lives so often as ACTUAL reality, when really and often without knowing, we severely jeopardize "the big picture," or what I like to call God's plan. We're so unreservedly caught up in the details that we accidentally put our eyes under a blindfold, or some really dirty sunglasses. The problem with this is that we lose sight of not only God, but the importance and mystery of His timing. We just don't get it. (And believe me, I'm more guilty of this than anyone.) This inevitably creates one huge mess of confusion we put ourselves into and then have to dig ourselves out of, most often painfully. For me, this looks like running in emotional, spiritual, and physical circles that really have no end, at least as long as I keep those dirty sunglasses on. This is my main reason for the "slumps" I usually experience which often causes me to compare my recent state as somewhat of a roller coaster. I go up, then down until I decide to open my eyes again but then out of absolutely nowhere, something blindsides me and sends me plummeting to the bottom once more until I really just get over myself and throw out the idea that my day to day life is NOT the whole of my reality. Circles. It's ridiculous.

With that truth acting as a precursor, I want to talk about faith. Tonight at The Element, Sean spoke about Abraham but more importantly his faith. I won't elaborate completely because this is probably already too long and hurting your eyes just staring at your computer screen reading (hopefully) my text (lol). BUT something Sean brought to my attention resonated especially deep. It was the story about Abraham and how he was told by God to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice. Now think about that, and the actual action of sacrificing a CHILD, not just any child but your own offspring. I can't even fathom. Now with that in mind, think about actually going through with it solely because you trust, and ultimately because you have unmoving faith. Crudely, that's some balls. But seriously, the severity goes for miles. How utterly vexing and flat out difficult is that? It gives me chills. And to just THINK of how that makes our daily faith struggles look like. Petty, in every sense of the word. For example, I struggle with smoking. SMOKING. All I really have to do is stop buying cigarettes and be in a shitty mood for a couple weeks and then it's done. But since all I see is my minuscule, incorrect, and jaded interpretation of existence it incontrovertibly builds up something so minor as quitting smoking into something so bloated it actually becomes haunting and ends up influencing my life in ways it really has no justice to. But I let it, and really without much of a fight. How completely weak and fragile does this make my faith look? I act like God isn't big enough to overcome something like nicotine's aftereffect. Ignorant. Now I'm not saying addiction isn't so inconsequential to just write off as something trivial and insignificant, but come on. Let's be honest. I'm weak, I think we are all, at least in comparison. So I'll let that settle in, all I really ask is that you meditate on that. And be warned, it's convicting.

So, I think I've left you all with something at least to think about, so do so, even for two minutes, I'll be happy.

It's way too late to be thinking this hard, so I'm just going to stop here for the sake of my sleep. But nevertheless I love you and I hope you're having a great morning/day/evening/night.

That's all.


Dicky.